don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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