Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
Randomize
