We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Randomize
