I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
I could make wine with my vomit
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
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