when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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