i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Vodka?
Forever.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize