...so i touched it.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Randomize
