Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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