its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
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