Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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