So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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