he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize