so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
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