whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Randomize
