How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
