College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
