Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
