Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
