he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
the room spins SO much faster in panama
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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