whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
The air taste purple.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
