I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
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