I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
my sisters under your porch take her home
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Randomize
