In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
