Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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