And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize