No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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