Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Randomize
