Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Randomize
