i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Randomize
