Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
Randomize
