You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize