the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Randomize
