I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Randomize
