We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Randomize
