What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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