He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
