We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
