There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Randomize
