We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
