You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
