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• (647): View more from Ontario

  she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf

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• (952): View more from Minnesota

  You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.

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• (626): View more from California

  Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.

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• (714): View more from California

  I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?

  (949): View more from California

  I gave it to your brother to give to you.

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• (864): View more from South Carolina

  Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.

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• (616): View more from Michigan

  Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight

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• (50): View more from

  I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.

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• (239): View more from Florida

  i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.

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• (507): View more from Minnesota

  You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.

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• (540): View more from Virginia

  There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.

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• (443): View more from Maryland

  My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it

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• (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.

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• (281): View more from Texas

  We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.

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• (318): View more from Louisiana

  with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday

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• (660): View more from Missouri

  She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company

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