you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Randomize
