Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Randomize
