careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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