in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
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