Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
