I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Randomize
