We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
He better not be in your backpack
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
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