I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize
