I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
