and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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