you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
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