You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Randomize
