the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
How naked do you want me to be?
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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