Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
