Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Randomize
