I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize