he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
