Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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