I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
