just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
